Fat Tuesday

While I might not be drinking Abita beer and watching the parade down Bourbon street, I am partaking in Fat Tuesday in my own way.  I had a very unhealthy dinner of pizza (first time since November!) a small fry and a shamrock shake.  I should feel soooo guilty about this dinner, but I figured it's ok. It's Fat Tuesday afterall, and anyone who knows me, knows I always celebrate holidays.  Plus, I'm giving up Shamrock Shakes for lent.  I don't have to explain to any of you, how major this is. I live all year for this season of shakes.  This is epic.

I'm indulging tonight because tomorrow starts the beginning of a challenge I signed up for at work/the gym.  It's called the 40-day Transformation Challenge.  So tomorrow it's time to get serious.  No more unhealthy choices. No more glasses of wine after a rough day of class. No more treats.  No more skipping workouts. Hopefully at the end of these 40 days I will be able to report reaching my weight loss goal and show off a brand new bike.  Wish me luck!

Happy V-Day!

Happy Valentine's Day Lovers! While I normally choose to wear black and wish everyone a happy "Singles Awareness Day" in protest to the day of love, this year I decided to be indifferent with a side of cheerfulness.  Being single on February 14th can be sad and lonely. Everyone is throwing their love in your face with postings of flowers received at work, dinner dates, and mushy love notes posted on facebook.  You start to feel as if you are the only one not invited to a party.  It actually reminds me a of comedy piece by Dane Cook. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJEvROTScaY)
But this year was different for me.  It wasn't different because I had a secret admirer or anything crazy like that, it was different because I didn't care.  I recognized the day by wearing a heart necklace and ring, took heart linzer cookies to my class and wished everyone a Happy Valentine's day.  I didn't feel hurt and left out, and I didn't feel euphoric and in love. I just felt like a girl who is ok with herself and being where she is at.  It seems so simple and natural, yet odd because I've never felt like this before. I'm usually all in or all out for V-Day.  But this year, I'm just me. Just here. Just Ok with it all. It's kind of odd...yet kind of nice. I'm lucky to have many wonderful and loving relationships in my life and while they aren't of the romantic sort, they are equally important. I'm truly blessed. So thank you to all the loves of my life and I hope you had a great Valentine's Day.

P.S. I hope you got chocolates because that certainly make the day even better.

The "FAT JEANS" Dilema

I've been debating about this for awhile and I just can't decide, "how long do you keep your clothes after you've lost weight"?.  I've dropped a couple pants sizes and now have a closet full of clothes that I don't like to wear anymore.  They just don't look very good on me because they don't fit right.  Part of me wants to say s"ee-ya!" and give those puppies away. I want to clean out my closet and give them to someone who might enjoy hand me downs as much as I do.  I want to actually have a little more room in my closet. And let's me honest, I want to have an excuse to buy more clothes to fill the closet back up with smaller sizes.

But....the other part of me is afraid.  What if I gain the weight back soon? I won't have the money to go out and buy a bigger wardrobe again and frankly that shopping trip would just be depressing.  So I could keep the clothes "just in case".  I'm just afraid that this is some sort of feng shui no-no that is keeping bad joo joo in my closet.  Maybe by keeping these bigger clothes I'm giving myself a safety net where it will be ok if I do gain the weight back. I'm also kicking myself for getting rid of clothes that were too small on me when I moved back to AZ. Why didn't I keep those?! hmmm...although maybe it was getting rid of them and not having a constant reminder that I wasn't small enough in my closet that allowed me to take a healthier approach to reaching a desired size. Well, nowI'm even more confused...

Thoughts? How long should one maintain a current size before getting rid of bigger clothes?

And if the consensus is to get rid get rid of the clothes and you would like to adopt them, please send me your name, address, and size. If I see something you might enjoy I'll pass it along!

BMV DAY

It's 8:00pm on a Friday night and I'm in my sweat pants on my couch. Sadly this is all too typical. I'm not 100% complaining though, sure I'd like to say I'm more social and have a fabulous life, but the truth is I'm over the party days and frankly enjoy my sweat pants while enjoying a movie and a glass of wine.  However, before I get to my little Friday night ritual, I need to be productive to make up for my wasted day.

The day started off well,  I got up and headed to work before 7, got to chat with some of my favorite gym members and wrote an article for our online blog.  After my shift, I bravely headed to the BMV to start jumping through the red tape hoops.  I finally have all the paperwork to become an Ohio Resident. I lucked out and the line wasn't too long (I did drive to the outskirts of the city though). I got a pretty nice lady and she helped me obtain my new Ohio license I.D., get my car inspected and wrote a check. Then it was over to the Title Office to get my Title transferred to Ohio where the guy kept insisting on chatting about Phoenix. I learned that he loves loves loves Phoenix and goes there every year to play golf. He just couldn't understand why I was moving back to Ohio and he almost seemed disappointed in me. I appreciate the friendly chatter at first and then I started to get annoyed. I already had to deal with the "you're crazy for moving back here" look from the BMV lady.  After he was finally finished with his AZ day dreaming, he handed me my paperwork and I wrote another check.  I went back to the BMV to get my plates and of course had to write another check. Why is our government so far behind? When will debit cards make it to their realm? I mean pretty much only some small Chinese food dives are the only remaining cash or check only establishments. Anyways, I did it. I jumped through all the ridiculous hoops to become a resident of my original state.  I must say though, it was sad to turn in my AZ license. Couldn't I just keep it for a scrapbook or something? To make things really set in that I no longer have official ties to the Valley of the Sun, it started snowing on my drive home...Roxie we aren't in Phoenix anymore.  I decided to let Roxie keep her pretty AZ desert sunset plates on one more day. I just couldn't bring myself to putting on her new plates with a farm scene sunset today, especially because it was snowing.

Jumping through all those hoops must have been more exhausting than I thought because I was really dragging after I got home. I don't know what's going on with me anymore but I've been so exhausted lattely. So I figured since I don't have to go to school or anything, I could allow myself a short little nap. When I told myself this there must have been a mix up in communication. Apparently my body misunderstood my mind and read "short little nap" as "3-hour nap ohhhh yeahhhh!". I woke up after 4:00 and missed my workout class at the gym. Ooops.  So now after my sluggish afternoon I'm attempting to cross a few things off my to do list to make myself feel better. I have a feeling I'm not going to get much further than the load of laundry I just put in. Oh well, such is the exciting life of a 27 year old grad student.

Hope your Friday is much more exciting!

The Annoying Gym Girl

I would like to apologize to everyone who reads my blog, reads my facebook statuses, talks to me on the phone, or has a dinner conversation with me.  I'm sorry if I tend to talk about working out, eating healthy, or fitness topics in general.  It's annoying, I know, I really get it, but it happens to slip out of my mouth all the time.  Maybe that's because in order to see results you have to be dedicated and in order to be dedicated you have to constantly make decisions to stay on track throughout the day.  I tend to think about my workout schedule a lot.  I then decide what I will be eating throughout the day based on my workouts.  Then I wonder if what I'm doing is effective so I research. Oh, and I work at a gym. Soooo as you can see, I've become a fitness nerd. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a fitness junkie because I do take days off every once in awhile (ahem, the entire past weekend...) and I could never give up ice cream.

I find that I need to apologize because a) I used to deplore people like the new me.  If you are ok with where you are at, you don't need constant reminders of how other people are working out and eating right (and better than you). You are forced to compare yourself to them, and then if you are like me you silently judge and hate yourself and then to make up for it you hate them for making you feel like you hate yourself.  And then there is reason b) I'm now surrounded by "newbie" fitness peeps.  Now don't get me wrong, I want everyone to experience the success and happy feelings of endorphins and smaller waistlines. Although I might get a tad jealous when people can drop weight quickly and I've been struggling, this is not the root of my frustration.  My frustration comes from these people that have suddenly decided they are going to work out and eat right and they KNOW everything.  I really really hope I did not come across this way. I did a lot of research and tried to be knowledgeable, but I never meant to come across as a self appointed expert. I just find it frustrating when someone who has been working out for a week tries to tell me what classes I should be taking because it's important to cross train. ( I take 5-6 different exercise classes a week, I got it.)  Or when someone else makes an un requested announcement to a group of us that it's really important to make sure you strength train and not just do cardio if you want to lose weight. Funny how I remember explaining that to a certain someone a week earlier.

Ok, enough mean venting. It's great that everyone is stepping up their health routines and I applaud them. I also need to remember that I've probably annoyed the hell out of everyone around me for the past 8 months, so for that I truly apologize.

P.S. If you currently do not workout or watch what you eat and are at a safe health level and are happy with who/where you are, GOOD FOR YOU! Although I want everyone to be healthy, I really respect people that have strong self-esteem and are comfortable in their own skin.

I put the Pro in Procrastinator

On this beautiful Sunday afternoon, instead of going for a run (which I really really should....) or prepping delicious fatty eats for the Super Bowl game, I'm on my couch staring at my textbook and blank note cards as they dare me to touch them.  I however, do not like dares and am holding strong.  I have a horrendous midterm in a few days and it will be tediousInstead I've managed to start a new pinterest board, organize my schedule for the week (color coded by category) sort laundry (only to find that the washer is in use), ate way too much, stalked everyone I know on facebook, and now thanks to a lovely suggestion from a fellow procrastinator, Megan, updating my blog.

So I might as well take this time to talk about my recent performance. No better way to procrastinate! I recently posted about a little performance I was in and how I was so excited (I was Pop! in the Cell Block Tango dance number).  Well the performance has come and gone, but my euphoric high has not.  The performance could not have gone better and those 7 minutes on "stage" flew by way too fast.  It was nothing fancy, but it was so much fun! I was instantly in a good mood for the next few days. I didn't mess up like I thought I would and I think I made the correct hair and makeup choices (nailed it!).  I was int he first group to perform so afterwards I got to enjoy a glass of wine to calm me down and enjoy the rest of the performances.  It was such a great atmosphere between all the performers as we stood together peaking into the packed studio window.  Watching the advanced girls was inspiring and has pushed me to work harder so that one day (after a bazillion painful hours in the studio) I might get half as good as them. Dad and Patty even made the 3 hour trip down to see the showcase, which was completely unnecessary, but greatly appreciated. I honestly have the best family. They are very supportive (and open minded) for whatever crazy performance I get myself in.  Plus, the bonus was that after all my hard work, I got to chow down on a burger and fries on Dad's tab ;)

Well now after reliving this experience I got all fired up and just want to go sign up for more dance classes and workouts....When is my mind going to care about that midterm? Shouldn't that kick in anytime now?

Manic Monday

Normally Monday's aren't all that bad for me work/school wise.  It's the dreaded Tuesdays of this quarter that I fear (long stressful day). However, this fine Monday decided to amp up the fun factor and provided me a stressful and eventful day.  Well actually, it was mostly just stressful until the end where it got eventful.  I will skip over the boring details of how I felt rushed throughout the day and how I felt defeated in my class and I'll head to the experience I hope to never relive.

Now, I don't pretend to be a great parker.  I wouldn't say I'm a bad driver necessarily (if you disagree, keep your trap shut, I'm tired, emotional, cranky, and don't want to hear it), but I admit that parking is stressful for me.  This quarter I paid a little more money for a parking pass in the covered/warmer garage that is closer to most of my classes.  I figured with me adjusting to a winter season, it would be worth not having to trek across campus in the elements. UC parking garages are, I think, horribly planned out in order to cram as many spots possible into the structure, thus creating tight spaces to squeeze in and out of.  Today I was excited to see a spot right away and whipped right in there no problems...until I got out and saw (with horror) how close the side of my car was to the large column.  I had a bit of a panic moment, but realized I had to hurry to meet with my counseling client and would just have to worry about it later. I would be fine I told myself. I could get out of there. (I lied.)

After feeling particularly down after my class and venting about the frustrations of my program with Mary, a classmate, I headed to my car...my car parked extremely close to a large cement column...my car who has a big ass (it's ok Roxie, it runs in the family). "Ok Ok, deep breath", I tell myself.  "You can do this. You know how to drive. You have a college degree. Just think it through and go slow".  Fifteen minutes later I am still inching forward, inching back, angling my car, readjusting, inching forward inching back...get out and check see that my door handle is actually touching said column...get back in car, try not to cry, inch forward, freaking out, about to really cry now...And then comes along my Knight in shining armor...

Well not really a knight but a nice older couple who saw me struggle when they pulled in.  The man got in my car, the women and I stretched my yoga mat between the car and around the column, and the man finagled my car safely out the the treacherous spot.  I think I thanked them a bazillion times while holding back tears and trying to have some sense of dignity.  They said no problem and were off to the basketball game, like it happens every day.  All I have to say is Thank God for nice generous people. It's so great to know that they still exist out there.  It's a blessing of being back in the Midwest for sure.

Now that I safely made it home with me and Roxie in tact, I need to force myself to finish off this blissful day with a paper that is due tomorrow.  Trying to gather up my wits, pride, and self respect to get it going.  (If only it were as easy as writing a blog entry!).

Hope you all had a much much more fabulous Monday filled with successful parking experiences.