The Land of Skinny Bitches

I haven't been at my ideal weight for a long time, but I was alright with it when I lived in Ohio and there were normal sized people around. Then I decided to move to the land of superficial people and mountain climbers. At first I didn't notice the impact this had on my self esteem, but with time I've grown to see that what I thought was an average weight (what I considered myself) is not the case here in PHX. Everywhere I look there are really skinny girls. Even my friends are tiny. (And I apologize for calling you a bitch. Please forgive me it's a jealousy thing). I'm constantly surrounded by people who get up at 5:00 am to hike a mountain (who are these freaks?) women who get a daily dose of plastic surgery, naturally petite friends, and to top it off I work at a ballet company. My body image has morphed and I suddenly feel like the big girl in the room instead of the average girl. I'm not saying I'm obese so please don't start yelling at me, I'm just stating a fact. I'm larger than most people I'm around daily. And frankly, I'm sick of it.

I've tried so hard to be healthy for the past 2 years. I've cut out a lot of sweets (epic for me) and have tried to work out (I go in spurts but I must say I've managed to stay pretty active between workouts and dancing). Although I feel like I work so hard while other's don't have too, I have no results. So I've decided to go extreme. I'm going to push myself and get down to a "normal" size, at least in AZ standards.

I bought the book Extreme Fat Smash Diet from the Celebrity Fit club doctor. It's not the most fun thing to do, but he says it will work and so I'm going to trust him and give it a shot.

I'm currently on day 2 and day 1 proved to be a challenge. The challenge wasn't necessarily in my will power but in my stupidity. You know how when you move you have to buy everything? And you just tell yourself to only buy the essentials one by one? And you don't really think about some things as being essential until oh say you can only eat chickpeas for dinner and you have the can in front of you but do not own a can opener? Yeah, that was me last night at 9:30 after dance class. I tried stabbing it with a knife (was successfull in creating a tiny whole but that wasn't enough and I was afraid I'd lose a finger in the process). I even googled how to open a can without a can opener (lots of smar aleck responses such as go buy one!) with no avail. So I had to skip the chickpeas and just be contempt with my side of spinach. Today has gone better, so far. I did go buy that can opener on my lunch break and the only bad thing so far was when I flipped my salad onto my lap (after putting the dressing on of course). I think this is going to be a long process, but it sure seems to be an interesting one...